The Shadows
by xXMystery PrincessXx
Summary: If only I had the bravery to jump, she thought wistfully. They would be free from my silent burden. ***T for suicide themes***


**I decided I needed to write about one of my favorite OCs, Frozenpaw. I listened to "Quiet Like the Snow" while writing this; I guess it kind of fits, does it not? I'd be grateful if you dropped a review!**

Frozenpaw stood on the edge of the gorge, peering down. The waters were so free, rushing over the rocks and washing away all the sand on the bottom. _If only I had to bravery to jump…_ she thought wistfully. _They would be free of my speechless burden._

The moonlight turned everything silver and made it glow. A wave of disgust washed over her, and she turned away from the gorge. _I'm such a coward. My own mother didn't want me. No wonder. What warrior doesn't have the courage to die?_ She reeled away from the cliff, and dashed away. She needed to run, run away. The voices were leaping up in her head, encouraging her.

_You can do it!_

_ Don't be afraid, Frozenpaw! _

_ Death never hurt anyone!_

_ Frozenwhisper,_ they taunted. _Frozenwhisper, Frozensong. Silence, silence, forever in silence. Frozenwhisper, Frozensong, Frozenwhisper, Frozensong._

She opened her mouth to tell them to shut up, but she could utter no sound. Desperation pulsed through her. _Flintpaw will never love a she-cat that can't return his terms of endearment_!

Frozenpaw collapsed on the ground, thrashing. Her claws, unsheathed, were ripping at the grass uselessly as she struggled to chase the shadowy voices away.

_Kit! Not a warrior! Kit! A warrior would act for the good of the Clan! _

Grief and guilt tore at her heart. _They're right_, she realized. _A warrior would act for the good of the Clan_. Numb, she turned and marched back to the edge of the gorge. Without thinking, she leapt into the air, closing her eyes. _I'm not even good enough for StarClan. I'm just going to fade away._

"Frozenpaw!" The shriek ripped the air as Flintpaw barely snagged her scruff. She gazed up at him with wonder in her eyes. Did someone actually care? Did _Flintpaw_, the handsome and wanted young tom, actually care?

His back paws scrabbled uselessly as her weight was pulling him over. _No!_ Frozenpaw thought. _No! Not him, too! Just me! I was supposed to _die!_ He wasn't even supposed to see this! Once again, she longed to speak._ She longed to tell him that she wasn't worth it, but she couldn't.

Flintpaw finally lost his last small grip as the rocks tumbled away out from under him, and they began to plummet downward.

_I can do one thing for him_, Frozenpaw decided, as she dug her claws in his wind-buffeted pelt. She flipped them over so she took most of the blow and opened her eyes. _I want to see him before I die. _

Pain shot through her body as they were sucked down into the undercurrent. The harder she flailed, the deeper she got pulled.

_It's silent here. Just like me_. She closed her eyes, because the grit in the water stung them. _I'm glad I'm dying here._

Claws dug into her pelt. She glanced upward, seeing a beautiful golden cat. _Is she taking me to StarClan? Maybe I'm good enough. _

The she-cat grabbed her by her scruff and dragged her toward the surface. _What? No! I'm supposed to die here! _

But she still inhaled as the cool breeze brushed over her. It was then she recognized the golden she-cat. _Goldenwing,_ she thought. _My birth mother. The one that gave me away._

She scrambled her paws against the pebbles and pulled herself to the shore. _Flintpaw!_ Frozenpaw thought. _Did she see him? I can't tell her!_

To her relief, Flintpaw's form was being dragged to the shore by a dappled tom. The gray tabby hauled himself toward her. "Are you alright?" he demanded hoarsely. She flinched at his sharp tone, and looked away. The shadows were returning.

_Frozenwhisper, Frozensong, coward, coward, kit, kit. Couldn't even drown herself. Pitiful excuse for a cat. Fool! You should have made sure no one was watching! Coward, coward, kit, kit!_

"Thank you," Flintpaw said, directing it at the two cats. He dipped his head to them. "We owe you."

"You sure do. Don't FieldClan teach their apprentices not to hurl themselves off of cliffs?" the dappled tom demanded.

Flintpaw's hackles rose. "Of course they do!"

Goldenwing flicked the dappled tom with her tail. "Calm down, Hailstep. I'm sure Frozenpaw had a viable reason for leaping off the gorge. She probably saw a big fish."

"Hmmf." Hailstep looked away. "Useless, mute kits shouldn't be away from the nursery anyway," he muttered.

Hurt dashed across Frozenpaw's face. _Frozenwhisper, Frozensong, coward, kit. Silent kit, a uselessly silent kit._

Flintpaw launched himself at the older warrior. "She's not useless, and she's not a kit!" He slashed at his rescuer, slicing open his muzzle and tattering his ears.

It's not worth it! Frozenpaw wanted to wail. Not worth it!

Hailstep tossed Flintpaw away. The gray tabby was bleeding from his shoulder. He guided Frozenpaw away. "Let's get back to camp. Darkstar will speak to Spraystar about these flea-bags at the next Gathering."

"Yeah!" Hailstep screeched after them. "About our rescuing you!"

"Ignore him," Flintpaw muttered. "He's not worth it.

_I'm not worth it!_ Frozenpaw thought as they prowled into the trees. _Why did you fight for me? Why? I'm just a silent, useless kit. _

Flintpaw turned toward her. "You are worth it, Frozenpaw," he stated firmly, as if he had read her mind. "No matter what that fox-hearted excuse for a warrior said. You are very important to me and to the Clan."

His green eyes forced his belief into her. _I'm not worthless. I'm not a kit. I'm not a coward._

_You are_, the shadows countered. _You are worthless. You are a pitiful excuse for a kit. You don't deserve life nor the peace of death!_

"Frozenpaw, are you listening to me?" Flintpaw asked quietly. She brought her eyes up from the ground where they had rested and shyly shook her head.

He sighed and gave a small smile. "I came looking for you earlier because Darkstar told me tomorrow at sunhigh we're going to be made warriors."

Her eyes grew wide. _No, no, no, no… I can't be made a warrior…_ She backed away from him slowly.

_Frozenwhisper! Frozensong! Frozenwhisper! Frozensong! Pitiful kit! Stupid fool! We've been trying to help you! You should have died when you had the chance!_

"Actually, Frozenpaw, Darkstar wanted me to be a warrior two moons ago." She brought his gaze up again to meet his, shock briefly chasing away the shadows. "But I declined. I told him that I wanted to wait until you could be made a warrior with me." It was his gaze that fell then. "Frozenpaw, if you'd died tonight, I would have never been a warrior. The warrior part of me would have died with you."

His eyes shot up to meet hers, and she was startled by the intensity in them. "Frozenpaw, I have loved you since we were kits in the nursery together. Please, show me that you won't ever do something like this again. I couldn't bear to lose you." Horror framed his face.

Ha-ha, pitiful kit. He's just playing with you! The shadows cackled and laughed at her, but for the first time in her life, she shoved them away.

Thoughts flickered around as she dove forward and covered his face with licks. _I promise, Flintpaw. I promise, Flintpaw. I don't need words to live for you. _

"Thank you." Relief pulsed from him as he returned her gesture. "Let's get back to camp. Darkstar has to do something about Hailstep."

As they walked together, pelts brushing, Frozenpaw was conscious of only one thing: the shadows weren't returning.

* * *

"Then, by the powers of StarClan, I give you your warrior names. Flintpaw, from this day forth you shall be known as Flintshadow for your quiet stealth and gentle determination." The Clan cheered as Flintshadow licked his leader's shoulder.

Darkstar turned his gaze to the silver tabby she-cat. "Frozenpaw, from this day forth you shall be known as…" He paused, emotions battling in his eyes. He made up his mind, and continued. "…Frozenwhisper."

The Clan gasped.

"That's cruel!" Owlheart yowled, Fernheart echoing agreement.

Darkstar lashed his tail and ignored them. "The Clan honors your fierce determination and courage."

Frozenwhisper only stared at her leader, expecting the shadows to leap up and begin attacking her. _Not now…_ she thought desperately_. Not in front of the Clan…_

Flintshadow brushed up against her. "Go on. I'm here," he murmured.

She looked up at him frantically. He couldn't know about the shadows!

A voice spoke in her mind, but it wasn't a shadow voice. It was the calm, level voice of Goldenwing. _The shadows drowned last night, not in the river, but in Flintshadow's love for you. Now go, and complete your warrior ceremony._

She slowly stepped up to Darkstar and licked his shoulder.

The Clan remained silent, gazing up at her with wide eyes. _They didn't expect me to accept it. _

Flintshadow lashed his tail with irritation. "Frozenwhisper!" he yowled.

Picking up on the cue, everyone began cheering. "Frozenwhisper! Flintshadow! Frozenwhisper! Flintshadow!"

And, for the first time, she was proud to be known as Frozenwhisper


End file.
